Amy's Time Of The Month
by Amy Cahill
Summary: It's that 'special' time for ALL girls EVERYWHERE, and Amy's going insane! How will Dan deal with her? How will Amy deal with having PEPPERONI pizza? Read to Find out.


Amy's Time Of The Month

Hey, what's up? I thought I'd take a break from my stories and write this random one-shot. It's fairly short, and completely OOC, but whatever.

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Amy Cahill tossed her long reddish-brown hair in a very Natalie Kabra-like way as she stared in disgust at the thing placed directly in front of her.

"DAN!" She screamed angrily.

Dan ran from the bedroom into the room Amy had been in, in the hotel they had been staying in for the past week while searching for clues in York, England.

"Yeah, Amy?" He muttered wearily.

"_Why is there__ PEPPERONI _on my PIZZA! You _know _I _HATE _meat!"

"B-but Amy, you asked for, and I quote, 'Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, Dan. CHEESE!' End quote."

"Yeah, I _ASKED_!," Amy snapped. "Y'know what? I'm not hungry anymore. I want to watch Spongebob."

"But Amy-"

"I DON'T WANT TO WATCH 'BUTT AMEE!' I want to watch Spongebob!"

Dan sighed, nodded, muttered something about how girls were super weird, and hot ninja guys such as himself were way cooler, and turned on Spongebob Squarepants.

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10 minutes later, Amy was sobbing into a pillow.

Dan stared in horrified fascination at his older sister. She had been like this all week, and he was all alone with her. Nellie was on some solo Madrigal mission, and when Fiske(Yup, like Grace, Fiske was just Fiske. No 'Uncle Fiske', or 'Grandpa,' or something. Fiske hated those words.) came to check up on them, Amy freaked out and sent him running by the time she had started her second sentence.

"Amy, what's wrong? Patrick's just eating a donut."

"I-It's just that-" Amy blubbered, "that donut looks just like…. IAN!" A new round of tears started as Dan tried to figure out _how_ a _donut_ had ANY reference whatsoever to the British teen.

"I mean, the dark, sweet features, the lovely fragrance… it's Ian! IAN'S A DONUT!" Amy ran up to the television and began to kiss the donut flashing on the screen, and, unintentionally, Patrick's bellybutton.

Dan wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry…or gag.

"He-he's not kissing me back, and… I MISS MOMMY! NO ONE LOVES ME! IT'S LIBERTY OR DEATH, AND I HAVE NO LIBERTY….SO DEATH!"

Dan looked up , confused. "Wha- Oh, yeah, sure…. Whatever. WAIT, WHAT?"

Amy ran to her room. Dan followed, and entered her room a few minutes later. He glanced in, fearing the worst.

Instead, he saw Amy hitting her head with a Webkinz Persian cat, and staring at a picture of Edward Cullen, repeatedly saying, "I want you, Eddie-poo."

When she finally noticed Dan, she looked up and grinned. "Hi, Dana! Guess what? I ate _all_ of the chocolate, and I'm dead! Oh, and a vampire!"

Dan stared, and wondered if this was all just a freaky dream. "Wha- N-no, Amy! You're not dead, you're not a vampire, and you're going to crash from a sugar high ANY minute now!"

Amy pouted. "I am too a vampire, Diana. See," She held out her wrist, where a pink, poorly drawn smiley face grinned up at a very annoyed Dan. "Eddie-poo bit me." She sent an admiring glance towards the sparkly vampire's picture.

Dan groaned, then dragged his chattering sister towards the brightly painted blue bathroom. He grabbed the soap and scrubbed at wrist until the smiley face was gone, then dried it with a paper towel.

"See," he panted, "you're human."

"What? NO!" Amy wailed, running out the door.

Dan moaned, and plopped down on the toilet, trying to toss the slightly wet paper towel in the trash, but missing. He picked it up, and suddenly stared, for in the trash was an empty tampons bag.

"Wait…it's September 15.… CRAP!" Dan yelled.

It was Amy's time of the month. D-day. Red death for boys and men everywhere**(A/N That's what my brother calls it**.)

"Dani, I want chocolate!" Amy whined.

"Amy, we don't have chocolate… you ate it all, remember?" Dan moaned.

Out of nowhere, Amy jumped into Dan's arms.

"Gees, Amy, what have you been eating?" Dan grunted, trying hard not to drop his sister. Oops, he knew he should not have said that, and he regretted it instantly.

"So now I'm fat, AND chocolate-less?"

Amy began to wail loudly.

Suddenly, the door slammed open.

"Kiddos, I'm ba-ack!" Nellie sang.

Dan deposited Amy on one of the loveseats in the hotel room, and ran up to Nellie.

"Nellie, _please_ tell me you brought back tampons and chocolate!" Dan said frantically.

Nellie frowned, but held out a shopping bag.

"Yeah, but-"

But Dan was already gone.

Nellie sat down, her forehead creased, trying to figure out _why _on _ANY_ circumstance would Dan want tampons, but decided it'd be better not to ask.

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Dan grabbed Amy's arm and dragged her to the bathroom entrance, with the tampons and chocolate in tow. As soon as he tossed in Amy and the items, he slammed the door shut, collapsed on one of the couches, and turned on the Sox/Yankees game. He could at least indulge in the fact that the Sox were kicking the Yankees butt.

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5 minutes later, Amy walked out of the bathroom.

She frowned as she saw her brother shaking on the couch, with his eyes glued to the television.

"Couch Potato." She commented, rolling her green eyes.

Nellie stood up, took one look at Dan's dishelmed hair, bloodshot eyes, and messy clothes, and immediately knew what had happened.

"Amy, Dan just needs some time to…er, relax and calm down, 'kay?" Nellie said calmly.

"Whatever. Do you have any chocolate?"

It was at that very time that Dan cracked, and let our an ear piercing scream.

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A/N So that's the end of my story. It was written at like 2 in the morning, so it might be really bad. Don't comment to tell me Amy's really OOC, I know, and I know I exaggerated.

THANKS FOR READING!

~Amy

P.S. REVIEW!

Amy's Time of The MonthÓ is a Fanfiction of The 39 CluesÓ. While Ms. Cahill does not own Fanfiction or The 39 CluesÓ, she does own Amy's Time Of The MonthÓ. All Rights reserved, Copyright 2010-2010.


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